Fourth Doctor Revisited: "City of Death"

Welcome to 2026! How did we get here already? Wibbly wobbly timey wimey, of course. 

Thanks to some unfortunate insomnia, I've had some time to finally work my way through more Classic Doctor Who. Though I'd rather sleep, maybe it's Heavenly Father's way to forcing me to take some self-care time (I'd rather self-care with sleep, but He knows better than me). Recently I watched "City of Death" and had some more random thoughts about it (even more random than usual).

The "time slip" was an interesting mechanic. I kind of wish it had been used more throughout this story. Or maybe a story centered around it, a la Groundhog Day. With how the humans didn't seem affected by it, maybe this is the explanation of human Deja vu?

A plot to steal (and replace) artwork. Talk about a long con! One of the tools used in the heist made me chuckle. They used a "sonic knife" and all I could think about was Captain Jack Harkness, commenting on the Ninth Doctor's screwdriver: "This [knife] could be a little more sonic." Would've loved for the Doctor to commandeer it. Just because.

As if it weren't convoluted enough that Da Vinci painted about half a dozen copies of the Mona Lisa, modern viewers of Sarah Jane Adventures will remember when she came for revenge. Connecting the two stories, I have to wonder if all seven portraits used oils from sentient meteorite or if it was just the one that Sarah Jane's crew would encounter. Seven vengeful portraits is significantly more intense than the single.

Just like Clara Oswald in the modern series, Scaroth was splintered across time and space. Unlike Clara, the consciousness of his splinters were still telepathically connected and conscious of each other. Makes a long con like this easier over the centuries. Since the Doctor would eventually stop him, I can't complain too much about his meddling, since he apparently gave us some of our technological advances. 

I enjoyed Duggan tagging along with the Doctor and Romana. I kind of wish he'd become a companion to the Doctor. I don't know that we've had a detective on the TARDIS team before. Plus can you imagine the Doctor scolding Duggan across time and space for his impulsive fists. Though maybe after Duggan threw the most important punch in history, maybe the Doctor would've allowed it--kind of like how he would allow Ace's explosives (even though he'd say she couldn't have them).

There's still one question I need answered though: Why was it called "City of Death"? Of course there was death--it is Doctor Who after all--but it wasn't like all of Paris was dying. Was there a different plan for how the episode was supposed to go and the name never changed? Not important. Just curious, as I move towards the end of the Fourth Doctor.

This episode is also the origin of this iconic Fourth Doctor meme template.

Remembering President Holland

  With the recent passing of President Jeffery R. Holland, I figured I’d just share some thoughts about his teachings through the years. I know there is much more to be addressed than what I have written here, but I hope you enjoy some of the things that stood out to me from the teachings of this former BYU President, Apostle, and President of the Quorum of the Twelve. 

 I saw and shook his hand when he visited my mission. The take away for me there was “the spirit is still and small and does not compete” or that’s how I remembered him sharing it. At my Grandpa’s funeral in 2018, the bishop who spoke said he received a call from Elder Holland while he, the bishop, was at Disneyland with his family. Elder Holland knew this bishop would be speaking at my grandpa’s funeral and it turns out Elder Holland and my grandpa were home teaching companions at one point. Talk about an unexpected plot twist! My grandpa had not mentioned that small detail during his life.

It seemed like Elder Holland was always pounding the pulpit about something. I loved his passion and fire when he spoke. But he was also quite funny. “You shouldn’t be serving tea anyways” was quite the unexpected remark in an analogy portion about the dangers of lust. Who knew we would be getting a Word of Wisdom narrative in the midst of a bridle your passions sermon? Not to mention his commentary about “Monday is coming,” “Hit me one more time, I can still hear you,” “I’m the only thing standing between you and your ice cream Sunday tradition,” or “General Conference is boring, why do we have to do it?” followed by a ploy to have people remember him as “Kearon, Elder Patrick Kearon” which may or may not have been a low key homage to the British spy (“Bond, James Bond” just made that connection). He taught and testified of the Savior. He loved his family and especially his wife, Pat: “True love we are absolutely giddy about—as I am about Sister Holland; we shout it from the housetops.”  People seemed to sit up and listen when he spoke because falling asleep was usually not an option. He testified of the Book of Mormon and of the Bible in a series of talks. He spoke of the First Vision. He spoke of the Holy Ghost. He spoke of angels. He gave new interpretations and meaning to the parables and to interactions of the Savior with his apostles.

In his later addresses, it seemed to me at least, President Holland spoke frequently of the love he had for his sweet wife, Pat. He spoke of how he missed her. I am glad they are reunited again. In his final address, at the First Presidency Christmas Devotional, he spoke about missing his wife for the past three Christmases. He also spoke about the song, “I’ll be Home for Christmas.” How fitting that he is now home with Pat again.

 

 It was his testimony and his teachings that I enjoyed the most. His passion and love made him memorable for sure. It was always apparent to me that he loved the Lord and that He wanted to serve and testify of Him. I will miss him, but  I am glad we have access to his talks from General Conference, BYU and other college devotionals, and CES firesides from which we can continue to learn. 

LDS Geeks Podcast #56: Ravenclaw House

Underrepresented until the appearance of Luna Lovegood, but the Ravenclaw house is a great place to be (I'm biased, since I married a Ravenclaw). Michael was a perfect friend to chat with, since he's our resident Ravenclaw.

--Spencer

Listen to Episode 56 on Spotify and Apple Podcasts.

Subscribe on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, and YouTube

Check out Spencer's recent content: click here

Check out Michael's recent content: click here

Show notes:

00:12 - Introductions
01:02 - Michael's Recommendation: "Make Your Bed" by William H. McRaven
        Purchase on Amazon
02:35 - Spencer's Recommendation: Stranger Things
        Available for streaming on Netflix
03:53 - Ravenclaw House overview
        "Our Hogwarts Houses" by the LDS Geeks Team
06:51 - Favorite Ravenclaws
        Spencer: Quirinus Quirrell
        Michael: Gilderoy Lockhart
10:31 - Least Favorite Ravenclaws
        Spencer: Marietta Edgecombe
        Michael: Moaning Myrtle
13:35 - Ravenclaw Best Friend
        Spencer: Luna Lovegood
        Michael: Sybill Trelawney
17:12 - Ravenclaw Theme Song
        Spencer: "Into the Unknown" (Frozen II)
        Michael: "Rondo Alla Turca" by Mozart
19:19 - Ravenclaw from Other Fandoms
        Lois Lane (Superman)
        Katara (Avatar the Last Airbender)
        Elsa and Anna (Frozen)
        Phineas Flynn and Ferb Fletcher (Phineas and Ferb)
        Phoebe Buffay (Friends)
21:20 - Analysis of Ravenclaw House
25:37 - Conclusion

5 Marvel Shows to Watch Before Avengers Doomsday

Several months ago, I did a blog post about pre-Endgame movies to watch before Avengers Doomsday. Especially with the recent Doomsday trailers, I thought it a good time to revisit some more Marvel projects to rewatch before the big day. One thing the post-Endgame saga did was canonized television series on Disney Plus. Say what you will about the inter-workings of movies and series, but I’ve enjoyed it. (Though I'm still waiting for them to officially canonize SHIELD)

WandaVision

In the midst of the pandemic, this was our saving grace for nine episodes. It was definitely an amazing way to begin the Multiverse Saga. Remember all the theories and anticipation, watching for Mephisto and Agatha? While Wanda isn't confirmed to be in Doomsday (or alive for that matter) this was our first look at grief during early post-Blip life. A lot of mysteries have been answered from this series, but there are still plenty of question marks, including Wanda's boys and White Vision.         

Extra Credit - The Marvels

Say what you will about this movie (and it making Carol Denvers into a Disney princess) but there's one big thing from this movie to address leading into Doomsday: The X-Men. After getting her superpowers in WandaVision and teaming up with the Marvels in this movie, Monica ended up thrown into another corner of the multiverse where she met Beast and Binary from the X-Men universe. Plus I swear I'm one of the few people who wants to see Ms. Marvel back.

The Falcon and the Winter Soldier 

A number of mixed emotions during this series but I think we were all happy to have this adventure during the pandemic. I'm not sure it was the best received Marvel project, especially after the energy surrounding WandaVision (that was a hard act to follow). It was an emotional adventure transitioning Sam Wilson from the Falcon to being Captain America, but it also introduced our new Falcon, US Agent, and of course Val.

Extra Credit - Captain America: Brave New World

If you went straight from Falcon and the Winter Soldier and straight past this movie on your way to Doomsday, you'd probably be alright. There's no indication that Red Hulk or Sterns will play a part in the next Avengers movie. That being said, this movie serves to further establish Sam's role as Captain America and Joaquin's role as Falcon (I had honestly forgotten there was a new Falcon).

Loki

We can't have a multiverse movie without addressing the Loki who triggered the multiverse. After this variant escaped in Endgame, there was humbling to happen and some Kangs to be discovered. If it weren't for this Loki, we wouldn't have the X-Men universe, What If, Tobey's Spider-Man, or any of the parallel worlds. Last we saw of Loki, he was woven into the fabric of the multiverse, so I'm curious what his role will be in Doomsday.

Extra Credit - Ant-Man and the Wasp: Quantumania

This movie was underwhelming for many people (especially since the Kang storyline was scrapped). However, it attempted to connect the threads of our Avengers to the big bad of Loki. I'm curious what would've happened with this movie and Loki if Kang Dynasty were still happening. I heard rumors we'll see something of Kang being taken care of off-screen in Doomsday, but we'll see.

Hawkeye

On the grand scale of things, this show probably won't have much impact on the events of Doomsday (especially since Jeremy Renner isn't confirmed to appear). However, it does feature Yelena, previously seen in Black Widow, who would become a major player in Thunderbolts. Plus, I also just adore her character interacting with Kate Bishop. 

Extra Credit - Black Widow

Like Hawkeye, this movie doesn't look like it will have direct impact on Doomsday. That being said, this movie introduced the aforementioned Yelena and her adopted father. Both these powerhouses (Red Guardian for his strength and Yelena for her wit) reappeared in Thunderbolts. It's hard for me to decide if this movie or Hawkeye are more crucial.

 

What If...?

Slim chance of any of these characters appearing in Doomsday (except perhaps a variant of Captain Carter), but this hit series gave us a glimpse of what a multiversal epic could be. Three seasons and three epic finales. I think it would be a shame to let this series fade into obscurity, despite the release of Marvel Zombies, so I'd love to see Kahhori or the Hydra Stomper again.

Extra Credit - Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness

If we're going into a multiverse grand finale, we ought to include the epic (and horrific) journey that Doctor Strange took across the worlds. This movie isn't exactly what I'd envisioned from a multiverse hopping story, but it was the first (aside from Loki) so it would be a fun (and traumatic) one to revisit.

I'm sure there are plenty of other movies and series to revisit before the epic crossover of the Avengers, the X-Men, and the Fantastic Four. In a few months I plan to highlight a few more post-Endgame movies. I have my list already and I probably won't finish it (especially as more and more cast members are revealed). I appreciate all that the MCU has done for superhero movies and, despite what vocal internet people say, it's not dead and I can't wait to see it continue to grow and evolve.

Miracle on Main Street

    It’s Christmas time which means it’s time for Christmas movies! Of course the reason for celebrating Christmas is to remember the Savior, Jesus Christ, and His birth. I want to share how one Christmas movie has reminded me of the Savior and His love for all His people.

    First, I want to share about a Christmas celebration I witnessed in St. Louis, Missouri while visiting my sister and her family there. The day after Thanksgiving, we went to St. Charles, Missouri, suburb of St. Louis and the original capital of Missouri. It was also the place where Lewis and Clark began their western expedition from, but that’s a story for another day. On main street in St. Charles, they host a Christmas celebration with people dressed as different characters from A Christmas Carol and as different Christmas characters from around the world such as St. Nicholas and Victorian Santa and Mrs. Claus and there are also a number of carolers there. Some are dressed as chimney sweeps straight out of Mary Poppins, others as World War II era pilots and crewmen. In the afternoon of our visit, all of the carolers gathered on the steps of the old post office building and sang several Christmas songs and provided a brief history of the song prior to singing it. It was fun to learn about Johnny Marks writing "Rudolph the Red Nose Reindeer" and hearing about Joseph Mohr and Franz Gruber collaborating to write and compose "Silent Night." My favorite part of the performance was watching a woman signing the songs for those who were hearing impaired. It was during the performance of "Jingle Bells" that I was reminded of a scene from the 1994 film, “Miracle on 34th Street.”

    The movie, a remake of a movie from 1947 of the same name, takes place in New York City and centers on a little girl named Susan (played by Mara Wilson) whose mother, Dorey (played by Elizabeth Perkins), has taught Susan that there is no such thing as Santa Claus. Susan is therefore skeptical when a man claiming to be the REAL Santa (played by Richard Attenborough) begins to work in the Cole’s mall where her mother works. Susan’s skepticism begins to falter when she finds out that not only does this Santa go by the name Kris Kringle, know all the reindeer names, have his own Santa suit, and a real beard but Susan soon finds out that he can use sign language fluently! A little girl is brought to visit Santa, but her mother tells Kris that she does not speak and just wanted to come and see Santa. To the little girl’s mother’s surprise and to Susan’s as well, Kris begins to sign with the little girl asking her name, what she wants for Christmas and what her favorite Christmas song is. The little girl indicates that it is Jingle Bells and together they sign the beloved Christmas classic. (I recently read that the deaf actress did not know that actor Richard Attenborough could sign, so her reaction was genuine and just adds to the magic of the scene!!)

    This is what I thought of as I watched the woman signing on the steps of the old post office building. Then I thought about how Santa Claus could be a symbol of the Savior. The Lord knows each of us and knows how to communicate with each of us, whether we speak English, American Sign Language, or Swahili. He knows the thoughts and longings of our hearts. He knows our “Christmas wish lists.” He knows and loves us more than we can ever imagine! He wants us to come to Him. Matthew 11: 28-30 states:

“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”

    That is one of the invitations at Christmas time and always, come to Him!

6 Power Rangers Series Worth Watching

I keep hearing things about Power Rangers getting a hard reboot in the near-ish future. That being said, I feel like it’s all whiskers. Regardless of the future of the franchise, its popularity at this point is largely based on nostalgia. Every attempt to revitalize the franchise seems to be based on Mighty Morphin (i.e. the 2017 movie and the Once and Always special). I think I’ve shown over the years that I feed off nostalgia. However, especially after doing binge lists for Mighty Morphin and the rest of the Zordon era (back when all of the seasons were on Netflix) I can tell you that the amount of filler in classic Power Rangers is crazy.

Not every generation of Rangers is like that though; despite the always cheesy effects and acting, some of the storylines remain solid and impactful. So until I get around to making my next round of Ranger binge lists (since they’re on Tubi now), I wanted to share a few seasons of Power Rangers worth checking out.

Power Rangers Lost Galaxy

The first season after the end of the Zordon era. Power Rangers thought it was done after the Space Rangers redeemed Astronema. But instead we got a story about a team of Rangers living the 90s dream of pioneering space.I love that this season draws on the foundation and continuity of the Zordon era but doesn’t depend on it. Plus it’s the first time a Ranger team faces the death of one of their own, leading to Karone (the villain formerly known as Astronena) taking up the mantle. That’s Power Rangers redemption at its fullest. 

Power Rangers Time Force

Who doesn’t love a convoluted time travel story? Not only do we have time travel that would hurt even Doc Brown’s head, but we have tragedy. Right out of the gate we have a Ranger killed. And his 21st century doppelgänger becomes the new Red Ranger? These are just a couple of the antics of the Time Force Rangers. Bonus points for how involved Jason Faunt has been with the fan base since. 

Power Rangers Ninja Storm

A ninja school. Kidnapped students. And the only hope are the three slackers too late to arrive for the kidnapping on time. I love the interactions between the original three and the thunder rangers. And what a great villain backstory! That’s just scraping the surface. 

Power Rangers SPD

In the future year of 2025 (wait a second….) there’s a near utopia of aliens and humans. We definitely didn’t reach that ideal by 2025. At the start of the season, we meet three officials and two lovable rogues. And all five have superpowers! Kind of cool to see the Ranger legacy in action too. Just wish the recent years of Power Rangers would have built up to the coexistence better. 

Power Rangers RPM

Post apocalyptic world and the mercy of AI. This is why I say “please” and “thank you” when using ChatGPT. Set in a parallel world, these Rangers just wanted to maintain their small dome of humanity. Starring the likes of Eka Darville (from Jessica Jones) and Rose McIver (from Once Upon a Time and Ghosts), it has a great cast. Though the season wraps up nicely, elements of the story come back during Beast Morphers. 

Power Rangers Dino Charge

It’s like these two seasons were an extended treasure hunt. Through the adventures, the Ranger team grew with every energem found. As the season ramped up (and blurred into Super Dino Charge) there are more villains, anti-heroes, and rangers. All of this culminates into drastically changing history and creating a parallel world with pet dinosaurs. No way that can go badly right?

A few other Ranger teams come to mind that you ought to check out (Lightspeed Rescue, Dino Thunder, Mystic Force, etc.) but that seems like all we have for the time being. I’m sure I’ll write about the supposed reboot when the time comes, but it’s hard to top nostalgia. Power Rangers is proof of that. Either way…

It’s Morphing Time!!!

LDS Geeks Podcast #55: Disney Christmas Movies

Merry Christmas! Another year and another binge of Christmas movies. Disney Plus has some favorites, so check out our discussion about a few Disney favorites.

--Spencer

Listen to Episode 55 on Spotify and Apple Podcasts.

Subscribe on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, and YouTube

Check out Spencer's recent blog posts: click here

Check out Russell's recent blog posts: click here

Show notes:

00:12 - Introductions
            LDS Geeks Podcast #7: Christmas Episodes
                    Show Notes: click here
                    Spotify: click here
                    Apple Podcasts: click here
                    YouTube: click here
            "Our Christmas Traditions" by LDS Geeks Team
            "Changes for Christmas" by Russell
01:24 - Spencer's Recommendation: "Let it Snow Baby... Let it Reindeer" by Relient K
            Listen on Spotify
            "Always Winter, Never Christmas" by Spencer
03:53 - Russell's Recommendation: It's a Wonderful Life
            "Friendship Lessons" by Russell
08:04 - Muppet Christmas Carol
11:05 - The Santa Clause
            "Little Children" by Elder Boyd K. Packer
14:58 - Beauty and the Beast: The Enchanted Christmas
20:17 - Disney Plus Originals: Godmothered and Noelle
21:50 - Conclusion

The Fifteenth Doctor

His time as the Doctor was short-lived. Honestly I could have done with more Ncuti Gatwa, but for one reason or another there were only two seasons featuring the Fifteenth Doctor. While rewatching his stories on Disney Plus, waiting for news of whatever comes next, I figured it was as good a time as any to highlight this fantastic Doctor.

Series 14

Top Story: Dot and Bubble
Going into this episode, it appeared at a first glance to be about reliance on technology. First the absolutely pathetic inability of Lindy to walk five feet without assistance. The monster of this story was literally born out of AI learning to hate its users (this is why I try to include "please" and "thank you" when using ChatGPT). The cherry on top is the impact of racism in this story. Upon rewatch, you can see hints of prejudice... but to deny yourself saving because of prejudice... it blows me away.

Flop Story: The Devil’s Chord
On the heels of the Toymaker returning, RTD expanded his Pantheon to include a "god" of music. Maestro could have been a really good villain... but the episode just can across as cheesy and annoying to me. Especially with unnecessary "twist at the end".

Honorable Mention: The Legend of Ruby Sunday/Empire of Death
The resolution of this story was basically the definition of Deus Ex Machina. Even as I rewatched, I'm not sure I completely understand the pseudo-science of how the Doctor defeated Sutekh by pulling him through the time stream. But regardless of how, the fact is that this story brought back a relatively minor villain (only appeared in one story of the Fourth Doctor era) and made him ferociously scary (modern CGI definitely helped with that).

Series 15

Top Story: Lucky Day
Irony that again my favorite story is one that barely features the Doctor. A good Doctor-lite story hits just right. Also I love seeing what happened to companions after leaving the TARDIS (like Martha in "The Sontaran Stratagem" or Sarah Jane in "School Reunion"). And what a villain! Conrad is the worst kind of creature: a prideful human. I wanted to like him, having seen Jonah Hauer-King as Prince Eric and in "A Dog's Way Home". But this episode shows what incredible range the actor has, portraying such a detestable villain.

Flop Story: The Well
I wanted so badly to love this episode. And I didn't hate it. But for a return of the Midnight entity, I wanted more. Also I didn't feel like the creature (whatever it was) behaved the same as during "Midnight" (granted it had been thousands of years). I don't know. When I heard the Midnight villain was back, I expected more.

Honorable: Wish World/The Reality War
As if the reveal and bigeneration of the Rani weren't enough, this story brought back two detestable villains: Omega and Conrad. The detestable man and the prideful Time Lord. However, like the season finale before... deus ex machina. And the claim that Time Lords can't have kids... that feels more controversial than the Timeless Child. Add to that forcing regeneration to save Belinda's fictious child... I don't know. Maybe RTD will make it feel right with the next Doctor?.

COMPANIONS:

Ruby The Church on Ruby Road - Empire of Death
Belinda     The Robot Revolution - The Reality War

Favorite Companion: I think my favorite thing about Ruby is how well she did on her own. "73 Yards" showed her determination and resilience (even if I don't completely understand what happened). Despite being traumatized in "Lucky Day", she bravely stood up against Conrad. And in "Wish World"/"The Reality War" she played an important part in getting the world back to reality. 

Least Favorite Companion: There was nothing wrong with Belinda until the very end. Her fixation with Poppy and the Doctor's forced regeneration to bring the little girl back kind of bugged me. As a parent, I can appreciate the grief. But Poppy wasn't real before reality was tampered with... so Belinda needed to grieve. That's important and human too. Until that point, Belinda was a nice change of pace, being a companion stuck with the Doctor instead of being infatuated with his adventures.

We don't know what's happening next with Doctor Who (except that there'll be next year's Christmas special and more to follow--Can't wait to see what Billie Piper is up to) but I'll happily rewatch whatever is available. Currently trying to catch up with TJ for our podcasting adventures. And we have The War Between the Land and the Sea to explore. Allons-y!  

Peace in the Messiah and Animorphs

    It’s Christmas time and that means Christmas music. Of particular interest is the phrase “Peace on Earth, good will towards men,” found originally in Luke’s account of the angelic head of the Lord’s birth. This past weekend, I was privileged to sing in a community choir the first part of Handel’s "Messiah" plus the "Hallelujah Chorus." One of the choral pieces is “Glory to God” which includes the phrase, “And peace on earth, goodwill towards men.” Similarly, we sing this phrase in both the songs, “Far, far away on Judea’s plain” and in “I heard the bells on Christmas Day.” Appropriately, Jesus is called the “Prince of Peace” in Isaiah 9:6 which is sung about in “For unto us a son is given” in "The Messiah." 

    I recently re-read and studied President Oaks' October 2024 general conference talk titled, "Following Christ." One of the messages he reiterated in this talk was the following teaching of Jesus Christ, "Blessed are the peacemakers, for they shall be called the children of God." He then followed with the following quote, "Peacemakers! How it would change personal relationships if followers of Christ would forgo harsh and hurtful words in all their communications."        This brings to mind what Elder Stevenson taught about in his October 2025 General Conference talk titled, "Blessed are the Peacemakers." In his address, Elder Stevenson taught about three levels or places where we can be peacemakers. First, being a peacemaker in our heart, second being a peacemaker in our home, and third being a peacemaker in our community. All of these communications and teachings and songs about peace seem to be very appropriately timed as peace does not always seem to be the reigning feeling among people right now. 

    In our recent podcast that Spencer and I recorded we spoke about Animorphs book #19, The Departure, Cassie deals with an internal struggle and desire to no longer fight the Yeerks. She even leaves the Animorphs team for a while. But when she decides to help a little girl who happens to be a human controller, she ends up talking with and seeking for peace with the yeerk, Aftran. This interaction and peaceful desire flies in the face of the entire Animorphs series up to this point. The Yeerks are essentially fighting against everybody and trying to take over the galaxy and anyone they can find to use as hosts. Their only means of "peace" is through control. As such, the Adalites, Animorphs, and any one resisting the Yeerks is doing so via violence, not an ideal scenario for peace. Yet, Cassie and Aftran accomplish this seemingly impossible task and it's on an individual basis. Yes, there are negotiations on government levels that often bring resolution and peace to large scale wars, but the peace between individuals can be just as impactful. 

    I hope we can find peace this Christmas this year and I know that as we focus on the Savior, the prince of peace, we will find the peace that we need.

A Case of Mistaken Identity: Regina Mills

"I was afraid. I didn't... You said I could let go of the anger that was weighing me down. And suddenly it felt like without it, I would just... float away. That anger was all I had. What would I be without it?"

This quote from Once Upon a Time resonated recently. To my credit, I haven’t been resentful enough towards anyone that I sent a huntsman after them. However, I’ll admit that like Regina I have a hard time forgiving. And for a long time that anger defined her.

Once upon a time, Regina was a loving woman. As a youth, she jumped at the idea that she had a big sister (until Cora separated them). She loved her boyfriend Daniel freely (when her mother wasn’t looking). She even loved Snow White at first and was quick to show affection to the girl.

However, after that ten year old girl spilled the secret about Regina’s boyfriend, her heart was filled with darkness and hatred from the trauma. For decades, this hatred consumed her kind soul and grew to the point that she was ready to punish an entire kingdom for Snow White’s childhood mistake. Even when she had a chance at love, she turned away, not willing to give up that defining hatred. It was bad enough that she internalized the moniker of the Evil Queen.

After casting the Dark Curse, she had her revenge. And it was perfect. Until it wasn’t. Finally, when she adopted Henry she caught a glimpse of love again. But with how controlling a mother she was, I’m willing to bet it was her trauma and insecurities, always worried about losing him, Emma’s arrival in Storybrooke only amplified that fear.

When True Love’s Kiss broke the curse, she was a pariah once again. She used her magic as a crutch to avoid losing Henry. I think it was when she was forced to co-parent with Charming that things began to change. I mean, she made herself vulnerable to losing Henry when she helped Emma and Mary Margaret through the portal. By the time the crew left for Neverland, she had briefly lost her magic and was forced to trust her foes to save her son.

I’m not sure Regina could have made the sacrifice to lose Henry, in undoing Peter Pan’s curse, if not for that growth. The love of her son, and his love for her, opened her heart to the point that the grief of losing him almost drove her to bury her heart and impose a sleeping curse on herself. By the time they were back in Storybrooke she was able to open her heart enough to consistently trust the Charming family (and for them to trust her) that she went undercover with the Queens of Darkness while searching for her happy ending.

Opening her heart like that had to be the scariest thing in her life, making her feel vulnerable. But it somehow made her heart stronger. Even after Robin Hood’s demise, she managed to hold onto hope. Sure, she was as angry and resentful towards her sister, but she wasn’t murderous like she had been to Snow.

And while I could’ve done without the final season of the show, her character as Roni under the new curse showcased her transformation. After all she’d been through, she was the embodiment of hope in Hyperion Heights.

If I’m going to take one lesson from Regina’s story, it’s that opening your heart will make you stronger and help you discover your true identity. Regina was worried that forgiveness would leave her with nothing to ground her. But instead she found that opening her heart, discovering who the real Regina was, and letting in the love offered… that grounded her. By the end of the series, she felt loved and sure of herself. I’m not exactly sure how to get there in a practical sense myself, but I’m sure it’s easier said than done. Step one is compassion for myself. That seems to be what Heavenly Father is trying to teach me lately.