Procrastination: The Other White Sin

A week or two ago I talked about how great film making was.  Then I talked about how things that we love to do, whether it is drawing, playing music, or making movies will often get put on the back burner.  Why do we do this?

I remember one time my mission president was interviewing me.  I had become a little inactive in my planning efforts.  My mission president lovingly taught me the importance of planning and asked how I felt about it.  I could honestly say that I thought planning was an important tool of the mission.  Indeed, I gained a very strong testimony of it coming home.  Despite knowing how true it was I also knew one other thing about it.

Planning is hard.

Trying to figure out what you're going to do in an area you know nothing about is daunting.  I got exhausted just thinking about planning.  I knew that it was true but had the hardest time getting on my knees for a planning session.  I told my mission president that I knew it was a true principle that I just had a challenge following it.

So why was planning so hard for me to do?  I don't know.  What I do know is that I liked to put it off when I could.  I also know that getting it done felt really good and put my mind at ease.  In the end, I would get scared and procrastinate.

The reason why we don't do productive things we love is because they will truly make us vulnerable and that scares us.  I am so afraid of failure. Last night, I didn't make a commitment I made to myself and an accountability partner.  I agreed that I would have two drawings sketched and inked for a friend's movie he was filming.  Only one was sketched and inked.

I was afraid of my artwork not being good enough and therefore me not being good enough.  I was afraid of new territory of doing artwork for someone else.  I was afraid of not meeting my deadline.  In giving in to my fear I also gave into idleness.

A lot of times we fill our lives with so much stuff and things to do that we don't make time for things that are really important.  I had plenty of time I could have set apart for my artwork but instead chose to give it to friends, facebook, reading articles, and other stuff.  Those other things are not bad but I was doing those things instead of facing my fears and doing what I needed to do.  I needed to do it for me and who I want to become not only as an artist but as man.

Satan will use distractions and get us to procrastinate so we don't go anywhere.  If he can't pull us down he can try to immobilize or slow us down.  Procrastination is easy to do because it feels like we're not hurting anyone or doing anything wrong.  But we do hurt people--ourselves.

Not facing what we are afraid of or uncomfortable with hurts us.  The only way to not procrastinate is simply doing it.  You can't face your fears unless you simply face them.

Yesterday, I didn't meet my deadline but I did do something.  I got one drawing done and without an accountability partner I probably wouldn't have even gotten that drawing finished.  Even having one of my sketches inked makes me feel great.  I know the joys that we have in doing what we love (and things we need to do) can be ours if we simply just do it.

-Stephen