Doctor Who Review: "Twice Upon a Time"

Merry Christmas! Merry Doctor Who Christmas Special! I just barely finished watching the Christmas special, so I want to share my thoughts ASAP. Warning: Spoilers ahead.

So I think this is the first multi-Doctor story that doesn’t have a villain. I recently finished classic Doctor Who and they all have villains: “The Three Doctors” (Omega), “The Five Doctors” (Borusa), “The Two Doctors” (Dastari and the Sontarans), and “The Day of the Doctor” (Sontarans and Daleks). This was definitely a twist, pulling out a person-versus-self plot, when most of us expected a person-versus-foe plot. So as far as this story goes, I was kept guessing and on my toes, so I liked it.

I wasn’t a big fan of bringing Bill back. Turned out okay, but it started out as another death cop-out. Bill had a good, satisfying ending and I was worried they’d mess with her ending. Turning her into a memory of herself was a lot more satisfying than somehow resurrecting her.

That being said, I enjoyed the cameos by previous cast members. It was also satisfying to see the Doctor regain his memories of Clara. I knew of course that Bill was returning, but Clara and Nardole returning was a pleasant surprise. We even got an appearance by the good Dalek, Rusty, last seen over two years ago. I also very much enjoyed the stand-ins for Polly and Ben and the incorporation of the Classic Who footage. On the topic of recurring characters, David Bradley did a great job as the First Doctor. His mannerisms and the portrayal was spot on for how William Hartnell carried the character back in the 60s.

Now the topic of the new Doctor: I have my opinions on how I feel about making the Doctor a woman now. Short version is that as long as it’s done without an agenda (which Doctor Who is pretty good at) I’m fine with it. I’m not sure yet how I feel about her entrance. It was reminiscent of the Eleventh Doctor’s entrance (TARDIS blowing up and chaos ensuing). Coincidentally, that time was also a turnover in Doctor, companion, and showrunner. So I guess we’ll see what happens. On a side note, it’s funny how so many of us Whovians associate Steven Moffat with killing off characters, and yet again we see Moffat not kill off a single person, even during World War I.

What did you think of the Doctor Who Christmas special? Thoughts on our new Thirteenth Doctor? Enjoy New Years, guys! I’ll see you in two weeks.

"Other" Geeky Christmas Specials

Christmas is less than a week away!!! I’ve got one post left after Christmas and then I’ll be gone until after my honeymoon. In honor of Christmas, I wanted to share a few Christmas special episodes you may not have thought of or that you may have forgotten. Sure, everyone thinks to watch “The Santa Clause” or “It’s a Wonderful Life” but for how many decades have sitcoms and cartoons been doing Christmas episodes? Just something to give some variety to your holidays.

Can't have a Christmas special without a monster attack

Digimon: A Very Digi Christmas

In the second season of Digimon, we had a couple short story arcs ending off season two. The second generation of Digi-Destined brought the original Digi-Destined’s partners to the Real World to spend the holidays together. It set things up for the three part “world tour” arc and it meant that everyone was in the Real World for a few of the last battles. While it fits nicely into the storyline of the season (which is saying) it was also just nice to have a Christmas-themed episode.

What's Christmas without a simple
miscommunication getting out of control?

Pokémon: Holiday Hi-Jynx

So back when Pokémon was new, Ash and his friends found a Jynx stranded on the beach. They deduce that she belongs to Santa Claus, so they end up making the trip to the North Pole to return her. We also got some tragic backstory from Team Rocket’s Jessie, where she thought Santa’s Jynx stole her toy (really to fix it). So after Santa and Ash beat Team Rocket and resolve Jessie’s backstory, Santa goes off to deliver the presents with his flying Ponyta (back before Stantler and Deerling/Sawsbuck existed). It was a fun episode that had no relevance in the series after this. But then again that’s Pokémon; 90% of it is standalone stories. Still, a fun Christmas episode. Worth a watch.

And the party started out so well.....

Arrow: Dark Waters

So Arrow has been doing Christmas episodes since its inception five years ago. So the list of Christmas episodes actually also includes “Year’s End’ (S1), “Three Ghosts” (S2), “The Climb” (S3), and “What We Leave Behind” (S5). Season four’s “Dark Waters” felt like it had a great holiday tie-in, it kept the season’s story arc moving, and it was sufficiently emotional.  I’ll leave it like that, to avoid spoilers, but I enjoyed it.

Is it bad that I liked him better here than in Star Wars?

The Flash: Running to Stand Still

Like its predecessor Arrow, we’ve had a Christmas episode of the Flash each year since it started. “The Man in the Yellow Suit” (S1) and “The Present” (S3) were great, but I want to focus on Season two’s “Running to Stand Still”. Guest appearance of Mark Hamill as the villain and there was a great Christmas-themed plot to foil. If for no other reason, watch this episode because of how freaky Mr. Skywalker is in the episode. But like Arrow, I’m not going to give spoilers. Just go watch it.

The power of music and friendship!

Community: Abed’s Uncontrollable Christmas

So if you enjoy comedy and anything enjoyable, make sure you’ve watched Community. If you haven’t, go on Hulu and start episode one now. They do a wonderful job on this show of parodying other franchises and having plenty of pop culture references. So of course their Christmas episode had to parody “Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer” and other Claymation Christmas classics. Musical numbers, Christmas-themed epiphany, and whatever wacky adventures they wanted to do. And it was all in Abed’s head (spoiler alert). Seriously, if you haven’t watched this show, do it now.

So obviously I haven’t hit all the Christmas specials, but in addition to these I’ve previously reviewed Doctor Who Christmas Specials and a variety of Disney specials. What Disney specials did I miss, particularly the geeky ones? Next year I’d kind of like to do a post on the Friends Christmas episodes. What do you think?

Don't forget there's a new Doctor Who next week, featuring the First Doctor and a likely regeneration.

Star Wars: A Retrospective

There probably isn’t a point to lobbying yet another Star Wars: The Last Jedi review into the internet. If you haven’t seen it yet then you’re either planning on seeing it or don’t care about the franchise, so my opinon is probably moot on the film itself, so I’d like to go ahead and talk about the series as a whole, where it is, and what needs to happen next.

Spoilers: People fight

Where We’ve Been

Once upon a time the Star Wars franchise consisted of three films and a handful of novels considered by fans to be cannon. Back then fans begged for more cannon, anything (As long as nobody mentioned Life Day) that would add to the story in the galaxy far far away. So then they got it, a prequel taking place a couple dozen years before New Hope. To say that the Phantom Menace was hyped is an understatement. You couldn’t swing a dead Gungan without hitting something related to Phantom when it was first released. The film had mixed reception, kids loved it since there was lots of stuff blowing up and even some cool monsters, but longtime fans wanted it burned at the stake.

Fans got what they asked for but not what they wanted.

The Curse of Choice

HK-47, please come into the mainstream...

 Now we’re up to 9 official films, hundreds of novels and comic books, a couple dozen video games and at least three TV shows, most of which was erased from the main story with the exception of the films by decree of Daddy Disney, but we’ll get to that in a minute. Essentially there is something for everyone in Star Wars if you’re willing to look hard enough, and you can pick and choose which stories you subscribe to. This is the same problem DC and Marvel have dealt with for years. With so much content and more being added on a regular basis, it’s almost impossible to catch up let alone keep up. Now we have a 2+ hour movie sitting in the theaters adding even more to the already formidable pile, and while the movie was overall good, it didn’t really progress the story.

The Real Issue

The best part of any story is the conclusion. What would A Christmas Carol be if afterwards we kept seeing movies of Scrooge failing at being nice or honoring holidays and meet one ghost after another like a Victorian Scooby Doo? What would happen if Frodo came back to Middle Earth because Sauron’s son was now in Mordor trying to take over the world? Three words: Land Before Time. When a story is told it’s because someone had a story to tell. When a story is expanded because someone is dangling the carrot of more money over the writer, the story will suffer because there is no need for a satisfying conclusion. Star Wars had a satisfying conclusion once, it was at the end of Return of the Jedi. The Empire was defeated, Vader was saved and dead, all our mains ended dancing with teddy bears, alls well that ends well. It’s the adding of prequels midquels and the next generation that’s clogging this francise with bloated excess to the point where we’re no longer telling any kind of story.

The Disney Purge

Disney made probably the best choice if not the most controversial but declaring anything outside the films to be officially non cannon, essentially reducing the decades of novels, video games ect to extremely high budgeted fan fiction. This has helped with reducing the tangled octopus pod of stories to one quasi cohesive narrative but it has created its own set of problems. Remember a couple weeks ago when EA destroyed Star Wars Battlefront 2? Well it turns out that the story mode in that game is cannon, so if in the future someone from that game shows up in a movie with no introduction or back story then the audience is going to be completely lost. I understand that some characters from one of the animated series made a guest appearance in Rogue 1, but having never watched any of the animated Star Wars for any significant amount of time I can tell you that they had absolutely no impact on me as a viewer.

Happily Ever After?

I'd party with bears. 

I know you don’t want to hear this, but in the end I think what Star Wars, and a lot of franchises for that matter, need a solid conclusion. Not a reboot, not more prequels, an ending. I like how in Batman Vs. Superman that they put Batman’s origin story in the opening credits, basically saying “Yeah we know how this goes. Dirty alley, rich parents, pearls hit the ground” and then we roll into the story for better or worse. Compare this to Gotham, which has endeavored to stretch Batman’s origin story so far beyond from where it was that it barely resembles Batman. Plus considering how all his villains keep popping up years before he puts on the cowl, it’s a wonder why Batman didn’t just routinely head to the retirement home every evening instead of Arkham Asylum.

To put this massive rant into a more bite size portion: Star Wars: The Last Jedi was fine but where is this all going? 

-JOE

Marvel Cinematic Universe: Part 8

Agents of SHIELD started up again recently! And with Runaways going right now too, there are so many Marvel things to keep up with. Unfortunately, this week isn’t about Runaways. But it is about SHIELD. I’ve got two small chunks of SHIELD as well as two feature movies. So here we go.

Becoming the Cavalry

Agents of SHIELD: Season 2 (Episodes 17-19)

• 17. Melinda: We start seven years ago (2008). May and Coulson are in Bahrain taking care of an enhanced individual. As things turn out, the enhanced individual is an inhuman child with mind control powers. In present-day Afterlife, Jiaying teaches Skye to use her powers and reveals she’s Skye’s mother. Skye has dinner with her parents. Lincoln suspects Raina is clairvoyant.
• 18. The Frenemy of My Enemy: Bobby and Mack discuss Fury’s Toolbox and Coulson. Simmons reaches out to May. Coulson, Hunter, and Mike team up with Ward, in exchange for helping him take down von Strucker. Cal and Skye visit Milwaukee, where Skye contacts May for backup. Skye and Cal get ambushed by Hydra agents. Needing support, Coulson surrenders to Bobbi and Mack.
• 19. The Dirty Half Dozen: Jiaying talks to Raina about her dreams. Cal confronts Jiaying. Coulson teams up with Gonzales. Coulson’s old team works together (including Skye and Ward) to infiltrate the Hydra base and rescue Lincoln and Mike. Simmons accidentally kills Bakshi. The team escapes without Ward. Raina has a vision of Loki’s scepter. Coulson talks to Hill about another Hydra base.

Coulson's team reunites for one last mission

Random Trivia/Connections:

• ·         Wolfgang von Strucker (who appeared in “The Winter Soldier” credit scene and who later appeared in “Age of Ultron”) appears in a photograph in “The Frenemy of my Enemy”.
• ·         The twins mentioned in “The Dirty Half Dozen” were last seen in the credits scene of “The Winter Soldier” and they become an important part of “Age of Ultron”.
• ·         The events of “The Dirty Half Dozen” foreshadow and directly precede the events of “Age of Ultron”.

Thoughts:

Nice little prelude to “Age of Ultron”. It led up well with the infiltration of Hydra. We also got some resolution on why May is called the Cavalry, which has been teased since the beginning of the series.

The Avengers take down a Hydra base.

Avengers: Age of Ultron

The Avengers take down a Hydra facility, capturing Loki’s scepter and encountering Quicksilver and Scarlet Witch. Analyzing the scepter, Tony puts it to use towards Ultron (an AI system to replace the Avengers). During their celebration, Ultron takes life and attacks. Ultron uses the scepter and allies himself with the Maximoff twins to fight the Avengers.

Obtaining vibranium, Quicksilver, Scarlet Witch, and Ultron fight the Avengers, driving them crazy with visions. The Avengers take refuse at the Barton farm. Thor looks for answers to his visions. Fury inspires the Avengers. Ultron works to make a real body, but loses the allegiance of the twins to the Avengers in the process.

With JARVIS in Ultron’s synthetic body, Thor energizes him and he becomes the Vision. The Avengers team up with the Vision, the twins, War Machine, the Falcon, and SHIELD assets to save Sokovia and stopping Ultron from killing humanity. The Vision ultimately defeats Ultron.

After creating a new base, the Avengers part ways for a time. Elsewhere, somewhere in outer space, Thanos obtains the Infinity Gauntlet.

The Vision faces off against Ultron

Random Connections/Trivia:

• ·         Loki’s scepter, which contained the Infinity Stone which ultimately resides in Vision’s forehead, was given to Loki by Thanos in “The Avengers”.
• ·         War Machine (from the Iron Man films) and the Falcon (from “The Winter Soldier”) appear alongside the Avengers.
• ·         The Tesseract/Space Stone (from “The First Avenger” and “The Avengers”), the Aether/Reality Stone (from “The Dark World”), and the Orb/Power Stone (from “Guardians of the Galaxy”) appear in Thor’s vision.
• ·         Leviathans from the Battle of New York in “The Avengers” appear in Tony’s vision.

Thoughts:

I remember seeing this movie when it came out while I was in Spain on my study abroad. It holds a very awesome and special place in my heart because it’s from when I really started getting into Marvel movies. There was a lot going on and it may have been a mistake to do this as one movie instead of two. I read once that Thor’s visions were very much cut down but hinted toward “Thor: Raganrok”. Now that I’ve seen “Ragnarok” twice I’m interested to watch “Age of Ultron” again. I know people who didn’t care for this movie, but all I remember was geeking out in Madrid over this movie.

Raina works with Gordon

Agents of SHIELD: Season 2 (Episodes 20-22)

• 20. Scars: A year ago, Sam and Coulson discuss the Helicarrier for the Theta Protocol. In the present, Weaver, Gonzales, Bobbi, and Coulson discuss recent events in Sokovia. Coulson and Gonzales join forces. Raina and Gordon sneak into SHIELD and find the Monolith. Skye and Lincoln return to Afterlife before SHIELD arrives. Agent 33 and Ward kidnap Bobbi. Jiaying kills Gonzales and shoots herself to frame him.
• 21. S.O.S. Part 1: Jiaying declares war on SHIELD. Skye goes to Raina for answers. May and Hunter go after Bobbi. Skye sees Jiaying kill Raina. Coulson questions Cal. Simmons and Coulson aggravate Cal. Gordon and the Inhumans attack SHIELD’s ship.
• 22. S.O.S. Part 2: Skye and Mack attempt to liberate the SHIELD ship. Hunter and May rescue Bobbi, killing Agent 33 in the process. Fitz, Coulson, May, and Cal go after the SHIELD ship. Skye confronts her mom. Lincoln and May stop Alisha. Fitz traps Gordon. Jiaying tries to steal Skye’s lifeforce but Skye distracts her by getting rid of the Terrigen Crystals and Cal kills Jiayjing. In the aftermath of the fight, Skye (now going by Daisy) visits her mind-wiped father. In the ocean, the Terrigen Crystals dissolve. Simmons is swallowed by the monolith.

Coulson loses his hand.

Random Connections/Trivia:

• ·         The events of “Age of Ultron”, specifically Agent Hill arriving with the Helicarriers in Sokovia, is directly referenced in “Scars”.
• ·         Cal’s memory being altered is due to Project TAHITI.

Thoughts:

It was a satisfying end to the second season of SHIELD. The three-part finale put an end to the Afterlife arc and kind of set us up for some new stuff the next season. I loved the tie-in to “Age of Ultron”. I love it when Marvel uses SHIELD to answer small, unanswered aspects of the movies. Stuff that’s not big enough to warrant movie time, but easy enough to explain in an episode of TV. It was admittedly a bit slow of a season, but I binged this season on a grave shift, making it really easy for me (although it also made it hard to process).

Ant-Man faces off against the Falcon.

Ant-Man

Flashback in 1989, Hank Pym confronts Carson about stealing his technology. In the present day, Scott Lang gets released from prison but can’t get a stable job. Hank visits PymTech and Cross shows him the Yellowjacket. At his friend Luis’s advice, Scott breaks into the Pym home and steals the Ant-Man suit. Freaked out by the suit, Scott returns it but gets caught in the process.

Hank helps Scott escape jail and he and his daughter Hope train Scott to be Ant-Man. In training to break into PymTech, Scott fights the Falcon to get some tech. Hank tells Hope the truth about her mother. As Cross gets closer to perfecting the Yellowjacket, Hank, Scott, and Hope recruit Luis and his friends to help.

Scott gets caught in the break-in to PymTech. Hope and Hank escape. To win his fight with Cross, Scott ends up in the Quantum Realm, but manages to escape. Scott reconciles with his family. As everything resolves, Scott finds out from Luis that the Falcon is looking for him. Later on, Hank gives the prototype Wasp suit to Hope. At a later time, the Falcon and Captain America question Bucky Barnes.

Wonderful father-daughter moments in Ant-Man

Random Connections/Trivia:

• ·         The events of “Age of Ultron” in Sokovia are referenced by Hank Pym when he refers to the Avengers dropping cities out of the sky.
• ·         The post-credit scene with Captain America is a scene that takes place in “Captain America: Civil War”.
• ·         A “Pingo Doce Soda” poster appears. Bruce Banner worked at their manufacturing plant in “The Incredible Hulk”.
• ·         In Luis’s final conversation of the movie, he references a hero who swings from buildings, alluding to Spider-Man, who would later appear in “Civil War”.

Thoughts:

I loved the balance of humor and action in this movie. Kind of a nice in-between of “Guardians of the Galaxy” and  “Captain America: The First Avenger”. It’s also great because it could exist as a standalone movie. You don’t have to watch the rest of the Marvel Cinematic Universe to enjoy it. Though the references to SHIELD, the Avengers, and other Marvel groups makes it that much better if you do watch it. Only thing that I’d really want to change is Evangeline Lilly’s wig.

What were your thoughts on “Age of Ultron”, the last third of “Agents of SHIELD” Season 2, and “Ant-Man”? Anythin 

Pokémon Theories (2)

Last month, we got a brand new Pokémon game (and the last for the 3DS). So in honor of Ultra Sun and Ultra Moon, I’ve got some more Pokémon theories for you today.

In Generation V, a legendary pseudo-synthetic Pokémon named Genesect was introduced. It’s said that its original DNA was from an ancient Pokémon. Now go look at Genesect alongside Kabutops from Generation I. They’re both the same general shape and Kabutops is an ancient/extinct Pokémon. Simple evidence and I’m going to believe it until someone proves it wrong. (Source: Creeps Plays)

Next theory is about Haunter and Voltorb. The theory goes that Voltorb (and I guess Electrode as an extension) I just a Pokéball possessed by a Haunter. The eyes are almost the same between Voltorb and Haunter, so it would kind of make sense. Screen Rant further theorizes that Haunter just got stuck in the Pokéball, making it a weird genderless Pokémon/Pokéball hybrid. I don’t buy into this theory personally, but it’s still fun. (Source: Screen Rant)

Clefable and Gengar seem to genuine be opposites of each other. So some people believe Gengar is Clefable’s shadow. If you look at a silhouette of Clefable, it makes sense. They look very similar. More evidence includes Gengar’s classification as the “shadow” Pokémon. One more thing that “Creeps Plays” points out is that until Pokémon X/Y, when Fairy type was added, Clefable and Gengar were opposite types, unable to hit each other. (Source: Creeps Plays)

I’m not too familiar with Generation V (I’ve played through White and I’m working on Black2), but there is a character on White/Black named N. The theory goes that he is a Zoroark in disguise. Zoroark can mimic Pokémon (and I presume people as well?) so it’s reasonable to think he could take human form in N. We also know that N can communicate with Pokémon, which would make sense if he’s really a Pokémon. Finally, there’s a point in Black2/White2 (which I haven’t reached yet) where you see a flashback of N, but instead of N appearing, you see a mysterious Zoroark. I can give more input on this when I reach that part of Black2, but that’s all for now. (Source: Screen Rant)

  

Next is that the Kalos Elite Four is evil (or at least supportive) of Team Flare. Never mind the fact that one member of the Elite Four in Kalos is part of Team Flare. Also look at the fact that Diantha (the Champion) is chummy with Lysandre. After just re-playing Pokémon Y, I’m not sure I buy into this theory, because Diantha seems surprised about how fiendish and evil Lysandre is. I also noticed in my recent playthrough that people are still scared and worried about Team Flare, despite not helping to stop them. (Source: Pokémon Insider)

Another theory by Pokémon Insider is about Drasna and Cynthia. Drasna, member of the Elite Four in Kalos (Gen VI), mentions that her family comes from another region, where she was brought up on stories of time (Dialga) and space (Palkia). This hints that she could very likely be related to Cynthia, who is from Celestic Town in the Sinnoh Region (where “the past lives on”). Depending on how you look at the timeline of the Pokémon games, Drasna could even be the unnamed younger sister of Cynthia from Diamond and Pearl. Cynthia’s family is known for dragon-type training, so it would make sense that they’d both be dragon-type trainers. (Source: Pokémon Insider)

So I thought I’d run out of Pokémon theories, but I guess I still have more in my arsenal. Still need to track down sources for them, so I’ll let this post as is and come back with another Pokémon theory post another time. One of the ones I have yet to address is why Ash is ageless (and no, it’s not a coma) and the identity of Valerie, the Fairy-Type Gym Leader in Pokémon X/Y.

Any fun theories you subscribe to? 

Top 10 Worst Christmas Songs

Yeah, I'm a Scrooge.

So sue me.

You'll probably win.

Anyway, here's ten short rants on Christmas songs you probably love for some reason.

10: Christmas Shoes
In and of itself this song isn't THAT awful. The message is alright if a bit corney. A child tries to buy a new pair of shoes for his dying mother at Christmas because he wants her to look beautiful when she meets Jesus. Why is it on this list then? Two words: Hallmark movie. They actually tried to milk this for a full length film, and when I hear this song I think of that train wreck of modern cinema. Shame.

9: Feliz Navidad
This song is hated less for it's connection to Christmas but more to its structure in general. It's the same couple lines repeated ad nausea. The gimmick is that some of the lyrics say Merry Christmas in Spanish. I don't get why there's this fascination with how Christmas is celebrated in other countries, but surely we could get a Spanish lesson and some sort of a narrative at the same time.


8: Anything by the Beach Boys
Again, another general issue I have with music in general, or at least with this band: The Beach Boys. Every year these idiots crawl back onto every radio station like a zombie from its grave, and every year I switch the station. It's just song after song about being with a girl on a beach, only this time it's Christmas-over and over again. They're not even that different. I'd welcome Billy the Christmas shark who brings presents to beach bums, but we don't even get that.

7: I want a Hippopotamus for Christmas
This is a note to all parents of small children: You may think it's cute to hear your kid sing, but WE DON'T. Keep them off your voicemails, your Facebook pages, and please don't get them on my radio. This song has all the talent of a poorly rehearsed Primary program.

6: Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas
Lyrically this song's alright. It basically sounds like several Christmas cards strung together. The issue is that the tune is something akin to a funeral dirge. It's a slow ploddy song that doesn't match the lyrics at all. It's as if they're singing it sarcastically, like a teenager in the local nativity. I don't care who sings it, it's a bore to listen to.

5: Chipmunk's Christmas
First question: Why do the Chipmonks have a Christmas song? Second question, why do the Chipmonks still exist? Turning the speed on the track up to give the singers squeaky voices is cute once or twice but these things have been around for a good 50+ years and the charm has warn off long ago. Its not even a song I could get behind if we did euthanize the little rodents, because they'd probably re cut it with children, and see #7 for my opinion on that.

4: Hard Candy Christmas
This one doesn't get played that often but when it does it's still baffling to understand why. Despite the title, Hard Candy Christmas is not about Christmas. The song, originally sung by Dolly Parton, is about getting through hard times. The reference to Christmas is incidental at best. Give it a listen sometime and explain to me how it's a Christmas song.

3: White Christmas
Here's an interesting one: Make Bing Crosby sing this song and it's another Christmas dirge. Make the Beach Boys sing this song and it's a tonal nightmare, but that's not why it's here. First the concept of a white Christmas is stupid at best. I get the wanting to feel nostalgic, but hoping that a major snow storm hits at or around a major travel holiday is borderline sadistic. On top of that, fun fact, the film this song is supposed to have sprung from isn't even the original film this song is from. It's from a delightful, arguably better if racially insensitive, film called Holiday Inn. Give credit where credit is due.

2: Rockin' Around the Christmas Tree
THERE IS NOTHING RESEMBLING ROCK ASSOCIATED WITH THIS SONG. This song sounds like someone's aunt was convinced to do karaoke. It's a boring song missing the beat, instruments and heart that any sort of rock would have. This song is a lie.

1: We Need a Little Christmas
This song is abysmal. It's about dragging out all the Christms stuff to make it feel like Christmas as soon as possible because we need it to feel like Christmas right now. Some selfish brat wants to bust open everything and destroy the house because she needs to be cheered up? Calm down, watch Frozen, and leave the Christmas stuff in storage where it belongs.

What Christmas songs can you not stand?

-JOE