Nine years ago when Voyage of the Dawn Treader was released in theaters, I was a novice at all things Narnia. I had seen the movies, but that's it. At that same time, I was waiting to find out if I'd go back on my mission after coming home due to anxiety. I don't know about everyone in my situation, but it definitely tested me. It brought up all kinds of insecurities and self-worth stuff that I didn't know existed in my psyche.
When the crew of the Dawn Treader arrived on Coriakin's island, the magician foresaw the trials they'd face. Edmund’s had to do with pride and Caspian’s had to do with insecurities. And Lucy’s trial, like mine, was rooted in her self-worth.
From the first moments of the movie, Lucy compares herself to Susan at every turn. “Do you think I look anything like Susan?” “Have you found yourself a queen in those three years?” And then the mists of temptation show up in Coriakin’s house and she takes a page out of his spellbook.“Make me she, whom I'd agree holds more beauty over me.”
During a rough night on the sea, Lucy uses the spell on the page and makes herself look like Susan. But not just in appearance. She ends up back in England and finds she’s wished Lucy away. She'd become Susan and they had never found Narnia. Fortunately it was just a dream, but Aslan used the moment to teach her.
Aslan: “You wished yourself away… You doubt your value. Don’t run from who you are.”
Every Sunday between my missions (and for years after), I couldn't stop from comparing myself to every 2-year RM in Elders Quorum. Every time a story started with "When I was on my mission..." I got resentful and sad. Years later, even having dealt with that heartache, I still play the comparison game everyday. This guy at the gym is stronger and fitter than me. This girl at work has better stats than me. This person in class is smarter than me. Somehow I believe that my life would be perfect if I were like them.
“You doubt your value.”
“God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.” (John 3:16)
He wouldn’t have died for you if you were worthless. He wouldn’t have died for you if you weren’t important. But you are worth dying for… even if you don’t believe it yet.
Lucy got the message in the end. As I increase my faith and my understanding of the gospel, I trust that I’ll understand it in my heart someday too.
Gael: “When I grow up, I want to be just like you.”
Lucy: “When you grow up, you should be just like you.”
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